…More Than You Can Handle

Everyone is familiar with the saying that God will never give you more than you can handle. The problem here is God obviously has a lot more confidence in me than I do in myself.

Last Thursday morning my mother came rushing into the room that I share with my father who is in the final stages of Parkinson’s Disease. She made a beeline for the oxygen machine and I knew then that we had a problem.

Mom has C.O.P.D. and asthma and is 18 years into a heart valve that has a 15 year life expectancy. Her throat was completely closed. No air was passing in or out and the oxygen machine was doing nothing to help her. I dialed 911 and help was on the way but it is an awful feeling to be able to do nothing but watch and be there so that she is not alone.

Fleetingly the thought of performing a tracheotomy passed through my mind. If we lived in a rural area where the response time for the ambulance was longer I would do it without hesitation but the ambulance pulled up before I would have even started.

They took Mom to the hospital where they admitted her. They poked and prodded , hemmed and hawed for five days and then sent her home. This is the third time in five months that she has been in the hospital and they still have no idea what to do.

There is one thing in all of this that gives me comfort and that is my mothers faith. She had six sisters and one brother and is the last one here on earth. Their father , my grandfather , was a Baptist preacher and his girls were the choir. When we would get together for reunions and holidays it was like a revival and it still is but it is not the same. Those seven women with their brother playing the piano was a harmonizing , hallelujah moment!!Well they are all gone now singing in the ultimate choir waiting on their sister to round out the sound.

The doctor who put her heart valve in fifteen years ago gathered the family together with Mom present and told us that with her blood pressure being as low as it is that there was more than a good chance that she will not make it through surgery.We were speechless but Mom was not. She looked around at all of us and told us that she has friends and family waiting for her on both sides and that she didn’t care which side she woke up on.

That statement has stayed with me and completely changed the way I viewed life and death. Not just mine but every ones. She misses her sisters terribly and I believe she is looking forward to the reunion.

Mom I know that you will read this and I just want to say thank you for the strength in spirit and the love of the Lord that you have taught  me.

I love you.

This entry was posted in death and dying, religion and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to …More Than You Can Handle

  1. Judy Kitchens says:

    Tears, tears, and more tears! I love you all!

  2. Kim says:

    ❤😘❤ beautifully wriiten! I know you loved her! Yes God does leave us here wondering if we can do it without them😕

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