Full Circle

It is certainly interesting , to say the least , the way life plays out. So many things seem to be destined or connected that it is difficult not to believe in some greater design. Just in my life I have had two that were so important to me they changed my life in ways I have yet to fully understand.

The first occurred in a seven year time span. At that time I was married and had a nine month old child. On February the sixteenth my wife walked out the door with our child and the most tumultuous time of my life began.

Through an unbelievably difficult time and lengthy and costly custody case I finally received custody of my son. The date was February the sixteenth. Seven years later. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

During that time God and I didn’t get along at all. There was a time when my son disappeared for nearly a year and I was sure that I would never see him again. And just to keep the pain fresh God saw fit to give me a little  gift. The eve of my sons first birthday I received a call from my brother telling me that his wife had given birth to their first child.

How was I supposed to feel? What was I supposed to say? The happiest day of my brothers life is the saddest day of mine. I stood in the front yard that night and looked at the moon and wondered if somewhere on this earth this same moon was shining down on my son. I cussed God for His twisted sense of humor or his diabolical sense of timing.

Standing in that church and promising to raise my niece in accordance to the laws of the church was one of the more difficult things I had to do. It was difficult because I was celebrating the baptism of my God daughter at the same time wondering if God would ever let me see my child again.

I realize now that I was being tempered like steel to make me strong enough for the life he had planned for me. It has not been an easy life mainly because of the choices I made. I can not blame God for that. In fact I thank Him for staying with me through those times because even though I didn’t care much for Him when the chips were down He never turned His back on me.

Now you might think that seven years to the day to get custody and 365 days between my missing child’s first birthday and the birth of my niece should be enough but let’s not stop there.

The year was 1986. I was visiting my mother during the day and my father pulled up in the driveway coming home early from work. That was unheard of. I walked out to the car to greet him and he just opened the door and groaned. He couldn’t move. He was in such terrible pain he could not get out of the car or walk. I gently lifted him out of the car and carried him inside and laid him on the bed. The ambulance came and took him away..That was when he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease.

Twenty-seven years later my father died in the same room. I picked him up gently and carried him outside and laid him on the gurney and the hearse took him away. That was the day he was freed of Parkinson’s Disease.

Sometimes God puts you right where you need to be right when you need to be there.

This entry was posted in death and dying, end of life care giving, religion and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Full Circle

  1. Marie Taylor says:

    Yes, I think our lives are full of cycles and circles coming back around. They say that every seven years each cell in our bodies is replaced, making us – at least – physically brand new. We are lucky that we are given many chances to choose again and learn. Great post. Marie

  2. Wow what a story. It is FULL CIRCLE!

  3. sandrabranum says:

    I lost my faith when Mom was diagnosed with macular degeneration in 1988. I spent so much time being bitter, and then one day I realized: who was I to be bitter if She was the one who was going blind. As you said, He does work in mysterious and sometimes ironic ways.

  4. My mom has also been diagnosed with macular degeneration along with C.O.P.D , congestive heart failure and dementia. Her faith and positive attitude keep both of us strong. Be blessed

  5. I was feeling very bitter about some news I received today… and then I spent some time wandering beneath the skies of your blog.

    Your ability to see that we are all just one small part of a much bigger story must be a real comfort to you. It is that aspect of faith that I feel I miss. In any case, your words brought me comfort today, so thank you.

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