Date Night

Yesterday was a good day. I had some reservations as to what to expect because I had been awake most of the night before. We , being my mother and myself , have been in a bit of a funk since Daddy died in January. We haven’t been moping around buried in grief , although I have my times and I’m sure she does also , but more like we don’t know what to do. Daddy’s care WAS what we did and now that he is gone we are trying to establish a routine or find creative ways to spend our days.

Mom is eighty five years young and is battling her own health problems. Not only that , this is the first time out of those eighty five years that she has not been caring for some one else. Whether it was her four children , one of her sisters , her mother , her mother-in-law , her sister-in-law who died with ALS and most recently her husband and partner for sixty one years.

I want to cram as much life into whatever time she has left as her body can handle. We have done some things like going to the duck ponds to try to spot the resident bald eagle but we have yet to go on any major adventures. So I came up with date night.

I picked a night in the week where there is nothing that either on of us have committed to on the television. Sounds petty I know but you take your entertainment where you can find it. Monday was out because I have become a follower of The Following. A show about serial killers. That’s a glimpse into my dark side I guess.

Tuesday night is out because Mom is in love with entire cast of NCIS. If Monday presented my dark side then Wednesday showcases my lighter. Modern Family is without a doubt the funniest thirty minutes of the week to me and I think that laughter is important to ones well being.

So that gave us Thursday night. It did my heart good to see Mom getting the black beans ready for the taco salads we had planned for the menu. Not that I needed help with the preparation , I’m a pretty good cook , but because she remembered and was looking forward to date night.

The date was to be something unusual for us to eat and a movie off of pay per view. Okay , I can see you rolling your eyes but before you judge me too harshly this is the best way for us to watch a movie. I don’t have to worry about being in a strange place and Mom having an asthma attack or walking to the bathroom in a dark theater without pushing the pause button.

We selected the movie Argo and enjoyed watching it very much. We laughed together and gasped together and cheered together. We even high fived when the movie was over and made the commitment to do it again next week.

This is the first routine we have created since we lost Daddy and I find myself smiling recounting the evening. I hope she is looking forward to next Thursday as much as I am.

I also feel like this the first step we have taken to reclaim our lives from the loss of the man we both loved so much.

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19 Responses to Date Night

  1. Marie Taylor says:

    What a wonderful idea. I’m sure you are a blessing to your mom.

  2. terry1954 says:

    I think this is a very good idea. It doesn’t take a way from either of you. It adds memories, joy and laughter and quality time. Great idea and I am glad you both high fived in the end

  3. sandrabranum says:

    Sat. was Mom’s hair do day and afterwards we would stop for burgers and fries. Mom was legally blind so my son, Bernie was her escort to and from the hair salon. Guess he got practice just in case my eyes get that bad too. Thurs would be a bad night for me for Date night because I like the new show Zero Hour. Regards, Sandra

  4. Uh oh , I haven’t watched that yet

  5. Judy Kitchens says:

    You are a wonderful and thoughtful son. Of course Martha has been a wonderful wife, mom, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, aunt….. it would have been quicker to say all around person, but i didn’t want to :)…..so you learned well from her how to nurture others. Love to you both.

  6. I’m a fan of The Following too but I DVR it or watch it on Prime Time On Demand. Your post made me think about The End of Your Life Book Club, a book by Will Schwalbe, (although I hope your mom has many years ahead of her) where a mother and son start a book club after the mom is diagnosed with cancer. The books they read together spur some interesting conversation.

  7. Challlala says:

    The little things in life ❤

  8. I love serial killer shows too so I completely understand why Monday night is out for you!

    It certainly sounds to me that you are following in your mom’s footsteps, caring for everyone around you with such depth and selflessness, wanting only the very best for them.
    It’s wonderful to see you and your mom making a special night together, finding laughter and new routines to ease your hearts.

    I wonder what next week’s dinner and movie will be – be sure to tell us!

  9. I’m hoping that LINCOLN will be available. I like anything with Daniel Day-Lewis. how about some suggestions for dinner?

  10. amandasue916 says:

    Your mom is my kinda lady with her love for NCIS!! I haven’t gotten the chance to keep up with your blog so I was sad to read about your father. It sounds like you and your mom are doing a good job processing and finding life after you have spent so much time pouring into another’s life for so long.. I used to work in elderly care and though they were not family it was always hard to know what to do with yourself after the person pasted. Date night sounds like an amazing opportunity for both you and your mother. Wish you both many happy date nights!

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