It has been brought to my attention that I have neglected to shine the light onto some of the darker aspects of family. I’m speaking, obviously of in laws. I am sure everyone has their own horror stories about rude or overbearing in laws. I would have never thought about this as a topic for a post if it weren’t for my sister in law reminding me that she has yet to be acknowledged in a post.
So, let me tell you about my brother in law. He is a fine man and we have actually stopped referring to him as ” Tricia’s future ex-husband.” Tricia actually had a check list for the qualities that she was looking for in her next victim…I mean husband. If you ask me the only qualified candidate that could pass muster just celebrated His resurrection last Sunday.
Anyway much to our surprise she found someone that fit the bill. He is kind, a good Christian active in his church, a good provider and he loved Tata. Tata was our father who passed away this last January. Richard was always there and always attentive to Daddy’s needs. Whether it was helping him walk or bathing him or cleaning him if I wasn’t around, Richard shirked nothing and for that alone I love him.
Other than his propensity to build large fires during our droughts he is a very civic minded individual also. He has a problem understanding that a burning ban means no burning. Thankfully he is well insured as are his neighbors.
That brings me to my other in law. We’ll call her Missy. Missy entered our lives with grace and style. Not. Actually the family had gathered for Sunday lunch as we always did and my brother, Bird, or as Missy called him Toneeee, was bringing his girlfriend to meet everyone.
Our living room is sunken with the dining room table close to the door. As she crossed the threshold coming into the dining room she was trying to keep eye contact with our parents and neglected to navigate the two steps down. She fell like a Georgia pine landing mostly under the table.
The table erupted with laughter. O.k. I erupted with laughter. My sisters were snickering. Mom didn’t know what to do and Tata was just shaking his head with his eyes closed. Missy crawled further under the table and started whining,”Toneee…Toneee!”(Tony)
Bird didn’t really know what to do. I mean he wanted to laugh but he couldn’t because that was his girlfriend. Finally Tata said in his level calm Tata voice,”Boys, pull her out from under the table.”
I thought that she was just clumsy but it wasn’t her fault at all. She fell or tripped or flipped over backwards all the time. I realize looking back now that there was no structural integrity to her physique. I mean if I had legs like hers I would sue them for lack of support! She was tall and skinny. Missy looked like Olive Oyl with breast. Her breast and her knees were the largest parts of her body. No wonder she kept tipping over!
She has been a member of our family for over thirty years now and I love her just as much as I love my blood sisters. She has filled out well in all the appropriate areas as she keeps reminding us. I’m a little disappointed in my brother though. Thirty years and you’ve only accumulated one wife? Jeeze…What an underachiever.