February The 16TH

It has been awhile since I have written.

This is a very important day in my history. February 16. 1988 my wife got into the car with my 9 month old child and said she was going to the store. I thought nothing of it. As the hours passed I knew something was wrong. I went outside and sat on the porch watching the sun go down thinking I should call the police.

My sister pulled up and I knew something was wrong. She came up on the porch and sat beside me and asked how I was doing. I told her I was fine but I was beginning to worry because my wife and Trey should be home by now. That’s when she told me they were not coming back.

She could have cut me with a knife and I would not have been more shocked. I called my mother-in law to try to find out what was going on and was told I should get on with my life that I would never see either of them again. Thus began the most difficult and life changing period of my existence.

 

In the next thirty days I went from 218lbs. to 168lbs. I never slept. Trey’s room, with the crib and stuffed toys, was where I slept on the floor and spent most of the time when I was not working. I drove a truck at that time and all day long I thought of driving it into a tree or head on into another big truck.

My mother-in-law would only repeat the same mantra every day. “Get on with your life. They are not coming back,” as if she had taken my toaster instead of my child. Suicide seemed to be the only relief I could find that would stop the thoughts of never seeing my son again. I would cuss God every morning for not taking me during the night and every evening for not taking me during the day.

People trying to console me made me very angry. I was bombarded with phrases like, ” What about people that can’t have children? Think what they have lost!” I would respond,” They can’t lose something they never had!!” Or what about the parents that have buried their child?” I felt that at least they knew where their child is! They had the freedom to attempt to continue with their lives!

The police would not help. Their was no such thing as parental kidnapping at that time. The next time I saw my son he was nearly two years old. Walking and talking and had no idea who I was. By this time I was a completely different person. My entire personality had under gone a metamorphosis for the worse. I had developed a tremendous problem with anxiety that I had never had before and steal deal with today. I have a fear, even now, that I would lose my son again.

Fast forward to February 16, 1995. I was on a sells call with a customer when I had received a page from my ex mother-in-law. I called her immediately afraid something was wrong with Trey. What she told me had me so weak at the knees I thought I would collapse. She told me to come get my son, he would never go back to her daughters home again!

I was in shock again. I had been so aware that it was February the 16th that to receive this call EXACTLY seven years to the day had me in tremors. It has been me and my son since. Even though he is three thousand  miles away and I still have a tremendously difficult time living with anxiety, I consider myself the most fortunate man alive.

I thank God every day for my life and the blessings He has bestowed upon me. Though it has not been a life that anyone would choose for themselves it is mine and I have truly lived.

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10 Responses to February The 16TH

  1. Marie Taylor says:

    There is an old Chinese saying that goes something like “those who belong together, come together.” Trust is a hard thing to recover once it is lost but we can trust that God will never forsake us. Glad to hear from you again.

  2. I do believe that is true. He does things in His own time, not when we think or want them to be done. It is good to write again. I miss my friends.

  3. I am so glad that you and Trey, despite the miles between you, are still a team xx

  4. How well courage, grace and patience have been nurtured in the soul you caretake and that of your son. What a recognition to understand you have had and continue to have a life. It seems all of us only comprehend the splendour of blessings when we can look backwards and find the wonder of a journey of faith. Not that we do not ‘go crazy’ and despair and then, joy truly does come like the morning. I am so glad you and your son survived such events for how such a narrative of survival will inspire others.
    ~ Happy Flower

  5. Sharon says:

    “Through it all, I have learned to trust in Jesus. Through it all, I learned to trust in God” and what a wonderful, loving, sensitive, devoted man you have become! In Jeremiah it explains why bad things happen to good people, so that they may share and help others who come behind them that will go down the same path of pain and experiences. xoxox

  6. Trey Deeb (your kid) says:

    Still a team.

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