The Way I See It

For the last couple of years I have noticed a discernible change in my vision. Strange “headaches” that just hit with an explosion behind my eyes. They wouldn’t linger. Just bam… and in a few seconds they would be gone. It has deteriorated to the point that I have trouble seeing clearly in almost anything less than perfect light.

I went to the eye doctor yesterday and he did several different test and took some pictures. He told me that they would be sent to the doctor in Atlanta and they would review the material. If they see something they usually call before the end of the day… wrong. Thirty minutes later a call from the Atlanta VA from Dr. Pleasant Female Voice (PFV). Dr. PFV asked, ” Is this Edward H. Deeb Jr. last four 1725?”….You have to love the personal touch…” Mr. Deeb you have macular degeneration.”

There was no need to ask to many questions. I am familiar with the disease through my work and through my mother’s diagnosis. There is no cure. There really isn’t any treatment. It progresses in three stages. Early…Mid…Late. Start to finish ten years to being legally blind. According to Dr. PFV I’m in the Mid. Probably 3, maybe 4, years into the measurable progression of the disease. She said she could send me some vitamins and suggested occupational therapy.

She also asked me if I smoked and I said,” Yes ma’am. Not that many cigarettes but a fair amount of cannabis.” Dr. PFV chuckled and said,”I would advise you to quit smoking cigarettes, Mr Deeb.” I knew I liked her. ” The cannabis will not hurt your eyes. In fact some studies suggest otherwise. This disease is usually found in adults much older, Mr Deeb. ” I already knew that. Most diagnosis are around 80 year of age.

The way I see it…. I am blessed. God has given me so many beautiful memories. I cherish EVERY sunrise. Bright and brilliant! Blasting away shadows with pastel hues of color or slow and still. Just a lightening of dark to varying shades of grey. They are beautiful. I sincerely absorb smiles from little children and old folks. My soul has soaked in not only my own joy and suffering but also that of all the people I have loved, hated, protected or pursued. I know now why the Lord has made me an extreme empath. When my sight is gone I will be able to absorb energy … good or bad… to feel others pain and suffering. Sometimes what we see gets in the way of what we feel or should be hearing.

By losing my sight I have to wonder what else will happen? I’ve heard other senses become enhanced to compensate. Will I become more aware of the sounds that God has given me? Will I be a better conductor of  the images that flow through my mind now even though I posses the ability to see? I don’t know. Life is nothing but a transition. From the moment we are conceived until the final transition when we are received. I tell people every day I wake up with a pulse is a good day…. and the day I wake up without one will be a glorious day… That’s the wat I see it.

This entry was posted in end of life care giving. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Way I See It

  1. Who I am says:

    I’m so sorry to read this but knowing you, you will go through this even stronger

  2. Kim says:

    Well friend…I got a chuckle out of your humorous way of dealing with your loss! I am sorry for your loss but, glad you are dealing with it so well!!!
    You have such an amazing way of putting things! God bless you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.