THIS ONE IS YOURS TIM DURDEN

I haven’t sat before this keyboard in years. This is my palette. My instrument. My voice. Like any artist or musician grief brings emotion. Emotion needs expression and this is the only way I have of letting go of the pain. You loved it when I wrote. Every time we spoke you asked when I would write again. So here I am brother. sitting at the desk I haven’t sat before in years. It’s a beautiful day in the mountains. The sky is cloudy but the only rain that is falling is landing on these keyboards while I’m trying to type. It’s mating season at the lake and the geese are fearless and loud. I have my door open and somehow the sound of all the life outside lifts my heart slightly. I was absolutely giddy when you came up here to see me. I’m sure you realized that when I ran outside and threw my arms around you. I remember holding that hug and squeezing. I don’t know if it made you uncomfortable and I don’t care. I am an extreme empath and I absorb other people’s energy and I retain that memory. We were chest to chest for a reason. I wanted to feel that beautiful energy and be filled by your loving heart. And I was. I feel it right now sitting right here and the tears are accompanied with a smile now. We had a wonderful time just sitting and talking. You my friend haven’t changed. You were sweet to a fault, and you were a mountain of a man. You could have been a bully, but you were just the opposite. You became a preacher, and I became an outlaw. Now I guess I’m just still becoming. I wish you could have stayed longer… You spoke about your family, and I could hear the pride in your voice. I asked you to preach at my funeral and you said you already knew what you were going to say. Tim, I don’t think you have any idea how much that meant to me. There’s no one else. I know you’re here with me today. I have felt you around me, as I always do when someone I love crosses over. I also know that feeling will not last. This sense that I have right this minute of you standing behind with your hand one my shoulder while I write this is overwhelming, but it will be gone at any moment, like now. What will remain embedded in my being forever is the energy from that hug. You have become part of me. You have made me a better man and every time I hug someone else, I will share your energy. Your kindness will spread through loving embraces that will traverse time and generations. You are eternal. You are my brother. I love you and until our next hug I must let you go.