What are you afraid of? When the room is dark and you’re alone with the ticking clock what steals into your mind? Maybe it’s the mundane daily things. Maybe you’re lying in bed afraid you ate too much and have blown your diet. Or maybe you’re lying in bed afraid you’re not going to be able to eat for a couple of days because you have to feed your child instead. You might be afraid you left the thermostat up to high because it will run up your already exorbitant electric bill. Or you might be afraid the shelter is full and it’s going to be another cold night outside. We have other types of fears, some of which can be paralyzing. Some have a fear of aging. Some have a fear of living too long. Some have a fear of being destitute while the destitute have nothing left to lose. Some fear the future because they do not know what it will bring. While others lie in the dark fearing the past because they know exactly what it brings. Some people fear failure. They lay awake at night consumed with the drive to success while others have a fear of succeeding. They too lie in bed at night wondering when their world will collapse because it always does. Many people are afraid of being alone when they should really be afraid of being lonely. The two should not be confused. I’m never lonely when I am alone. Then there is death yet so many people are afraid to live. Many are afraid of death because they see it as an ending. Something is finished. Over. My sister told me she didn’t mind dying she just didn’t want to be there when it happened. Well honey this is probably the only thing you won’t be able to delegate. And I say I wouldn’t miss it for the world. That moment of transition from this vessel that we trudge around in for years into becoming…. just becoming.
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